Friday, July 15, 2016

Before Ever After

I just finished the book by Samantha Sotto.  Loved a thoughtful, mind-searching way.  It makes me ask questions but I'm not sure what the questions are.  Consequently, I can't answer them either. This leaves me feeling unsettled a I'm supposed to be doing something meaningful but I don't know what that might be.  (So I write....)
This is a story about a young woman, Shelley, who meets a man who turns out to be it's not another vampire story.  Something happens to him, Max, at 32 that keeps him 32 forever.  He's lived for centuries, fallen in and out of love, had families, fought wars, and a myriad of other things, but when he meets this woman, you feel as though this is his soul mate for life.  Only it's doomed in that she is not eternal and he is.  As he tells her, "I see the sand of your life flowing - fast and freely between my fingers.  I am not a god, but you are mortal.  I wished only to snatch you from the meadow before time laid you beneath it."
When I think of all that his immortality showed Max about life, and unlike Gestrin, Max chose to live through his eternity, not be angry and depressed, I wonder about my choices with the small fragment of time I have.  Have I made choices that I would make again?  Were they valuable in that they gave me a life to be worthy of this soul?  (Deep stuff, I know.)
It's funny (not HaHa funny), that some things by some people are taken so seriously when maybe we should just all chill and enjoy the beauty the world has to offer.  I know that is a very romantic viewpoint.  There would always be those that take advantage of that passivism, filled with hate for whatever reason, and they would ruin our peace and love.  But I think for the other third of my life, I may try the appreciation angle.  Small joys, happiness, knowing that one day it will all be gone.
I believe there is a heaven so I'm not concerned about the hereafter, but I'd like to be able to say that I used my time here well.  Because after me and mine, more generations will follow with their own problems, and wars, and suffering and beauty....let's hope there's still beauty.

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