Friday, July 8, 2016

Still searching....

So much going on in my head today....Needed to get it down and see if I can make some sense (Journaling usually helps).  A few thoughts that need sorted:

  • Is the world coming to an end? (pretty heavy thought)....some would say "Yes", but is it soon?  Am I ready?  According to the Jehovah's Witnesses that were at my door's here!  
  • So, is there more upsetting violence today than "yesterday" or is it that social media and our access to news is so much better(?), faster, that we're now aware of all the crime, killing, deaths, ....sadness and desperation.  Wars have been raged forever....
  • Who am I going to vote for for President in a field of unacceptable candidates?  What are my options?  This makes me feel insignificant and helpless.  The big machine rolls on...  All I can do is pray.  And it's not lost on me that we are only one country in this big world and so many other countries have major problems of life and death. So what is 4 years of what is assumed will be mismanagement under a liar, cheat, and scoundrel?  
  • Does Bexit really affect me?  Everything does if you believe in the butterfly effect.
  • Who or what do I champion?  Inspired by words of others to "get involved", "make a difference", "be the difference", but I feel like I'm probably like many others asking...."how"? I'm a nobody, with no connections, no money to spare, and so all I can do is "be the change that you want to see". Is that enough when all I can do is reach out to those I come in contact that enough?  It doesn't feel like it...I still feel small, inconsequential, as far as the big world goes...and I'm pretty sure many feel this way and thus apathy is born.  Remembering the oft quoted, 
"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
  • Are all of these feelings just support for Erickson's development theory of Generativity vs Stagnation and/or Ego Integrity vs Despair?  Because I'm somewhere in there and think that maybe all this reflection is just normal and so get off it!  
  • I'm also aware that my personality ( plays into this reflective self.  So am I even able to stop?  And if not, can I find peace?  At least not get anxious every time I do this reflection sh** and get all up in my brain and thoughts.
  • So back to my first bullet, I feel like I just want to lay low and wait for the end of the world; not ruffle too many feathers, help those that I can, continue my relationship with God and family first, seek the truth in all things, explore my humanity and the world around me, read, be creative, appreciate all things good, champion the best and righteous things, raise up, praise, love, joy.... Is that wrong?  "Things will be better in the end...if they aren't better, it isn't the end."  


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Pardon that deletion. The spelling was atrocious.

    -The world is not coming to an end. Nor will it in your lifetime, or the lifetimes of your children or theirs. Violence will always exist. Moral quandaries will always exist. The media will always be incapable of fair reporting. What you choose to do with your time, as extremely short as it is, is what matters most. So choose to act well, and even if you can't save the world from itself, you will likely save the world you affect .

    Regards- SWN